Since there is no picture to enjoy today, I will post this funny for your enjoyment.
- The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
- On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'
- Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
- 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'
- 'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'
- 'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'
- 'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.
- After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'
- 'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'
- 'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'
- 'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'
- 'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.
- 'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'
- 'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.
- The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.
- 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.
- 'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
- 'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'
- 'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.
- 'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'
- 'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
- 'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
- Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.
- ' Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'
- 'It's true, Ma'am, yes..
- Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'
- 'Tripod?'
- 'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
- Mrs. Smith fainted...
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